So here I am in Edinburgh, recording a podcast on my sister’s laptop. The sound isn’t all that great because the machine crackles a lot.
F****** jocks, Matric farewells, Techy Boy and digging holes in the sports pitch… I did it all.
1.) A king size waterbed
holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.)
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than
200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash
over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42
pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong
enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four
walls of a 20×20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when
the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to
throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can
hit a baseball a
long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even
double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When
you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too
late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of
it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a
4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in
the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter
how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on
water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR’s do not eject
“PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they
do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in
gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT
want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you
turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire
department in
has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing
machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make
cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when
dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will
try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
A rather unusual rant about Gaydar and Gumtree… the 2 most annoying websites on the net!
A general chat about my plans for the podcast and a few things that happened today!
A quick podcast to relay my thoughts about the wonders of The Royal Mail. No wonder they’re loosing money!
At long last … I put together a promo for any website that needs one.
Feel free to forward it on to people!
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